I am spending my child support on dildos
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize