my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
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nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
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How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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