he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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