Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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