The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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