just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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