Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
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He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You took a bar mat shot.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
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god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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