I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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