Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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