Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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