Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
this hospital has no fireball
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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