17 year olds will be the death of me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize