She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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