ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize