I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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