So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize