Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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