btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
