Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
