I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
