Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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