Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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