when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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