there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
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I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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