i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize