So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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