I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
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Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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