Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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