Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize