What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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