1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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