Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Are my feet made of real feet?
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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