the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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