I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
