Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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