I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize