I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize