Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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