Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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