There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
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So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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