You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize