Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize