I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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