He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
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