New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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