I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize