two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize