Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize