We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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