Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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