totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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