is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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